Trying to deal with it Without you
by Katsumi-dono
Summary: Suddenly, Aki decided to break up with Lauri


Trying to deal with it -- without you Chapter 1 

"Yes it's true". I can remember your words when you told me you loved her. I had to control myself: tell my tears not to spring out, tell my hands not to shake, tell my face not to fade away. Tell myself not to die.

I was completely shocked. After so much time together you were leaving me. I was being left behind. I was being replaced by a stupid girl who just wanted fame, because, yes, I know it, I heard her speaking to her friends. And yes, Aki, she doesn't love you, she just wants your money, all the gifts you can give her. But you don't have her heart, cause she doesn't have one.

That moment we were... don't remeber. It's was like a bar full of lights, good music, lots of drinks. Lots of girls were flirting with us, and most of them where really beatiful. But I had eyes just for you and didn't care about them. You didn't seem to do it neither, so I imagined it was as if our secret was being respected there: no-one would ever know about us together, but as long as we got home, we would make love overexcitedly. Yeah, that's how we always did it.

We had been at that party for long time, and it was supposed to finish in no more than half an hour. Sun was starting to threaten everybody there, trying to steal the night. Most of the people were gone, and you were standing in a corner, alone with a glass of something.

I approached to you: slowly and sexy like a wild panther, just the way you liked me to walk. I got closer to you with small steps, very feline ones, and when we were face to face I fixed your eyes and passionatelly turn my eyes to your neck. My mouth got there too, and started playing with your skin. My lips rubbing against it, and then started to focus on your clavicle.

It only lasted a few seconds when I fell you were pushing me away from you. I looked around, afraid that maybe we had been seen or something, but when I saw nobody there, I just got back to where I was. And again I felt you moving me away from you.

"Hey, Aki, there's no one here." Maybe you were a little bit paranoid beacuse of the last time in which we barely escaped. As soon as I said that, I was looking at you neck again. You collar bone was driving me crazy.

But before I could get closer you said something. "I don't care." Those were your exact words, said in a cold way.

I was a little bit annoyed about your answer, but thought it was because we were in a public place. "Okay... I'll wait till we get home and-"

"We are not going anywhere" you interrupted me, and before I could do the same to you, you went on speaking. "You can go wherever you want: your house, the beach, a bar... wherever. But I'm not going anywhere with you"

I couldn't believe what I was listening. You were being too rude to me, and it didn't sound like if it was a game. "Hey, listen, if it is because of what happend last weekend, I can understand that you maybe a little be ups-"

"I don't care about last weekend. I don't care about last weekend, or about our relationship or about you, Lauri." Your eyes were incredible cold, colder than I have ever seen them.

"Hey, listen, maybe you are being a little bit-"

"I'M NOT BEING A LITTLE BIT NOTHING! I'm sorry Lauri, but I tried to make you understand it was over, and you didn't seem to understand the easy way, so it will have to be the hard one. I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore, it's over. It was good, I enjoyed it, but it's over. I don't feel for you anymore, and thought you were able to see it. You have changed, I've changed too. And I don't feel like being with you anymore; so sorry if I'm too rude, but I've been trying to give you hints for almost a month, and you didn't seem to get them and I got tired. I'm sorry, but this is it. It's over". All your words came out loud, without a doubt, not even a single hesitation. You seemed to be very sure of what you were saying, but I didn't want to see you really meant what you've said.

I tried to say something, sound as strong as you, but all I could do was try to deny it. "Listen I can understand that you-"

"You don't seem to be undersatnding anything, Lauri Ylönen. It's over, okay? Over. And you better deal with it"

I had no words for that. I didn't know what to say in response to that. Again, I tried to deny it. "Aki, listen, don't act so stupidly, you may be upset-"

"Yes, I'm upset with you, Lauri. I'm getting tired of this, so please accept it so I can go. I don't love you anymore, there's someone else in my life, and our relationship is over"

"But... but it' can't be..." I couldn't find the words, I just couldn't. I felt like dying, like if life was running away from me. I concentrated myself in trying to find the words again. And when I was about to finished the sentence, your words echoed in my head, it didn't matter the music or the noise, your words were sticking into my head: "Yes it's true"

Okay... this was my first fic in English... blushes Hope you liked it and hope you could understand it cause English isn't my mother language... But well, I'm making an effort, and thought it'd be interesting to write a fic in English, just to change, you know? Besides, I love The Rasmus and love slashes, but it's almost impossible to find them in Spanish, so all the one I've read were in English and as relationships mean giving and getting, I thought I could give you this as a grattitude Well this is all I got from now. If I'm not that bad as an English-writer, I'll post some more chapters, so you tell me! How much do I suck? XDDDD


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